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Posts Tagged ‘spiritual’

New MeditatingThis has been a rough year! I had major surgery in May, my sister moved in with me in June, and recently my dad got really sick and ended up in the E.R. with what we were told was a stroke. Turns out it wasn’t a stroke but some bizarre infection.
As the oldest daughter (middle child), I have always been the ‘Fixer.’ Some might even refer to me as a co-dependent. Regardless of the label, somewhere along the line I lost ME. My hopes and dreams seem to mean very little to me lately. Not that I don’t still want them! It’s just that they seem so far away; almost unreachable.
I love my family but I have to come to the realization that I can’t be their savior. I can’t ref every argument, protect everyone’s feelings, and keep the people I love from being hurt. I can however have a say in guarding my own heart. It’s not selfish to think of me. If anything, it’s crucial to the survival of a fading reflection I see every time I look in the mirror.
So, how do I rekindle the fire within me and start chasing after my dreams again? I truly believe that I have to trust in one greater than all of us…yes God…and put those I love in His hands through prayer. I thank God that my dad is healed and I will always be there to help my parents. Still, I am in His hands as well and if I can’t even save myself, what makes me think that I can save anyone else! Time to dust off my dreams and make them come true. Time to find ME again:)

Yoli Fae

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ImageYes, 2014 is here and I was so blessed to fill the first page of this new year with wonderful moments spent at the top of a mountain. That’s me standing close to the cross in blue, with both arms stretched to the sky. It was a four mile or so hike up Mt Rubidoux and I had to stop several times just to take in the beautiful panoramic views of Riverside County. I felt like I was literally on top of the world! ImageIt’s funny how much bolder you feel and how everything in life seems POSSIBLE when you’re standing atop a mountain and seeing as far as the eye can see. Tall, corporate buildings look like scattered, tiny, white pieces of paper. Crowded freeways look like glistening curves of string. I thought about the stressful drive to work I make Mondays through Fridays, the demanding job I go to every week day. Looking over Riverside County, none of that seemed to matter. “This is what it’s all about,” IImage said to myself. “Climbing above the stress, the schedules and deadlines, and giving yourself the opportunity to put your life into perspective.” Every day of our lives should include some amount of joy, don’t you think? Of course, there will always be crowded freeways, demanding jobs,and family issues. But our approach to handling these realities of life should include an inner determination to not allow these circumstances to steal our peace. Yes, we laugh, we weep, and we pray. Life will always happen. If you have to get outside and climb a mountain to regain your strength, resolve and faith to go through these daily battles with boldness and hope, then by all means, do so! It also helps to have a close circle of friends, friends who ‘get you’ and love you anyway. None of us are perfect and when you find people who you can be real with, people who you can cry with and be vulnerable with without fear of judgement, hold on IMG_0887to them! They are priceless! I had the joy of spending the first day of 2014 with such friends. Perhaps the most humbling part of our hike was when we saw the cross from a distance and started to run towards it until we reached the cross at the top of the mountain! No matter your faith or belief, there is something so spiritual about standing at the foot of a cross that stands so tall, it seems to touch the sky. They’re were people around that cross from every walk of life and you know what? Race, color, and religion didn’t matter to any of them. They greeted one another warmly, talked openly about their hopes for a better year and shared bits of their lives. No one up here was a stranger. One common thread tied us together; hope. It’s this hope that I pray you the reader will hold Imageonto in 2014. Guard it like a mother protecting her precious child because it’s that hope that will help IMG_0893you to press forward to another day, help you to step out into the deep and make your dreams come true, help you to forgive past hurts and let go of toxic people, help you to say “No” to things that aren’t right for you and “Yes” to things that make YOU happy. So, whatever you are facing right now or will face in the days to come, please don’t lose hope! I never will:)

Yoli Fae

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