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New MeditatingThis has been a rough year! I had major surgery in May, my sister moved in with me in June, and recently my dad got really sick and ended up in the E.R. with what we were told was a stroke. Turns out it wasn’t a stroke but some bizarre infection.
As the oldest daughter (middle child), I have always been the ‘Fixer.’ Some might even refer to me as a co-dependent. Regardless of the label, somewhere along the line I lost ME. My hopes and dreams seem to mean very little to me lately. Not that I don’t still want them! It’s just that they seem so far away; almost unreachable.
I love my family but I have to come to the realization that I can’t be their savior. I can’t ref every argument, protect everyone’s feelings, and keep the people I love from being hurt. I can however have a say in guarding my own heart. It’s not selfish to think of me. If anything, it’s crucial to the survival of a fading reflection I see every time I look in the mirror.
So, how do I rekindle the fire within me and start chasing after my dreams again? I truly believe that I have to trust in one greater than all of us…yes God…and put those I love in His hands through prayer. I thank God that my dad is healed and I will always be there to help my parents. Still, I am in His hands as well and if I can’t even save myself, what makes me think that I can save anyone else! Time to dust off my dreams and make them come true. Time to find ME again:)

Yoli Fae

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ImageI was so moved by this picture when my mother shared it with me on Facebook. She took one look at it and instantly thought of me. I had spoken with my mom earlier that day about how I wanted to stop allowing my thought life to control my physical outcomes. I’ve spent most of my life entertaining self destructing thoughts and inevitably those thoughts had convinced me that I would fail at everything I’d ever try in my life. THAT’S HOW POWERFUL OUR THOUGHTS CAN BE! I have a God given talent as an artist but was always afraid to share my work with others in fear of rejection. I always had an issue with how I looked because I am so tall and lanky and because of a scalp condition, always had short hair. Needles to say I never thought I was pretty. Everything I started, I stopped before I could finish in fear of what would be expected of me. It took me five years between junior college and private school to complete my Associate of Science degree in computer technology. Afraid of failing, I never used that degree once I completed it. I was once approached about a modeling career. I simply responded, “I’m too shy.” I WAS AFRAID OF SUCCESS!

But a change came in my late 30’s when I experienced a new found faith in God. Over the last ten years I’ve fought my thoughts with what the Word of God said about me; “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” – Psalms 139:14, “I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me” – Philippians 4:13, and my favorite, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11. These words have helped me these last ten years to let go of some heavy baggage that was slowing me down and making me tired both emotionally and physically. My baggage included FEAR, HURT, GUILT and LOW SELF-ESTEEM. Before I found my faith in God’s Word, these burdens plagued my 20’s and half of my 30’s. That’s a long time to live in fear!!!

Today, I am not saying that I don’t still feel fear, but I no longer cower under it’s gripping hold. I face it head on! I’d rather do things afraid than always wonder what could have been. Funny thing too, every time I step out ‘on the water’ I realize that the real fear was all in my head and I’d say to myself, “What was I so afraid of? This isn’t bad at all?” Sometimes I fail and sometimes I succeed. The difference between my 40’s and my 20’s and 30’s is that in my 40’s I at least TRIED. Now, I’m proud to say that as 2013 draws to a close, I have completed my Bachelor of Arts degree in Business Administration, I have an online art gallery showcasing all of my paintings, and I sold my first painting two months ago!

Whatever your faith or belief, I encourage you to quiet those negative thoughts clouding your mind. Don’t be embarrassed to talk to someone you trust; a pastor, encouraging friend or family member, or even a psychiatrist. There’s nothing to be ashamed of! this is YOUR LIFE we’re talking about! When you do this, the weight of all that baggage that has held you down will feel lighter. Why? Because you will look down one day and see that you’ve dropped every burden you carried, to the ground! The key to a happier 2014 my friends is that you DO SOMETHING. Put this plan into action to make a positive change in your life. I haven’t even personally met you and I can honestly tell you that you are worth it!!! So let’s drop that baggage and experience a wonderful 2014!!!

with love,

Yoli Fae

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ImageMy younger sister and I each have pet peeves that drive one another bonkers. We don’t always agree and sometimes can go a couple days with out talking to each other when life gets demanding. But the one person I know I can always share my heart with without being judged is my sister. She honestly is my Best Friend! When she hurts, I hurt. When she calls me with good news, I’m always excited for her. My sister and I have both struggled with our weight most of our lives. But with age comes wisdom, and after years of crazy crash diets, harmful pills like Phen Phen and poor self esteem, we both have reached a point in our 40’s where we LOVE who  we are and how we look. We’ve discovered that our health is paramount to our happiness! So, we keep each other accountable with healthy eating habits and exercise, and yes, we still enjoy our yummy foods like ice cream and chocolates, just in moderation. Today, we had our sister time at Mimi’s Cafe and enjoyed THE BEST onion soup and crab cakes…YUMMMMM!!!

I encourage anyone reading this, who is struggling with liking who you see when you look in the mirror to seek out someone you can truly trust to be your accountability partner. Talk to them about how you’re feeling and choose a small goal you both can achieve together…something that will make you feel good about yourself. Join a 5K, try to kick an unhealthy habit like smoking, commit to walking every evening, etc. The key is to get you out of that ‘victim’ mentality and to give yourself a small attainable goal you can reach with the support of a friend. I am so glad I have my sister:) Remember, it’s not about being skinny, but being healthy! So, who will be your accountability partner? I want to know because I’d love to also cheer you on! Keep me posted:)

Hugs, Yoli

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ImageOne of our biggest downfalls is an unhealthy comparison to other people. We want to be like them, look like them, and achieve what they have achieved. Now, don’t misunderstand. There’s nothing wrong with healthy ambition as long as that ambition is to be your BEST YOU! It’s also important to have mentors in our lives who encourage us to bring out our talents and to face our fears head on.

You will never be 6 feet tall, so stop hating your five foot frame and go buy some slamm’in heels and call it a day. You CAN however, be an awesome teacher, artist, mother or entrepreneur. Oh, here’s one…You will never be a size 4 if you weren’t born with the body frame to support a size 4. You CAN, once again, choose clothes that fit and flatter your body and choose to be healthy through good nutrition and physical activity. Bottom line is you need to decide today that you are going to be happy in your own skin. Trust me, I’m preach’in to the choir because I have to tell myself this every day.

Building self esteem requires daily doses of TLC. TREAT yourself right by removing the negativity from your life (people who tear you down, destructive habits that endanger your health). LOVE yourself the way you are right now. If there’s something you desire to change that will add to the quality of your life and that you CAN change, then go for it. If you need that mentor to remind you that you CAN make this change then give her/him a call! Lastly, CHOOSE to be happy. I know this sounds cliche but it’s vital. Despite the moods of other people and despite bad situations, we still get to choose how to react. Just say, “This may not be what I expected or even what I want right now, but I am going to have a good attitude about it so that if there is anything that I can do to make the situation better, I will already be in the right frame of mind to make it happen. Either way, I am going to enjoy this day.”

There’s a healthy comparison to others where we are working on bringing out the best in ourselves. There’s also an unhealthy comparison where we’d rather be someone else, and that will simply never happen my friend. So, start giving yourself some TLC and see how much you start to like who you see in the mirror. Once again, I’m taking my own advice. Have a great day:)

Yoli

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YES!!!

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Yay…I have successfully planted and am now nurturing the growth of a pumpkin plant. There’s something so amazing about giving something so precious and fragile the love, nurture and attention it needs to grow and to flourish. In so many ways, this seed that has grown into a beautiful pumpkin blossom represents my new found passion for life.

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ImageI’ve been away from NMV for six months now dealing with issues in life that called for my undivided attention. I’ve since learned the value of following My dreams and not other people’s dreams for me. So, I’m back and I am excited about rekindling my passion that has always burned deep in my soul for helping people both young and old to realize how priceless and wonderful they truly are and to love themselves as they are and be the VERY BEST that they can be!

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