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1511354_10203438330831015_5899297131824040142_nIt is pointless for me to worry and stress over a situation that I cannot change. Still, the very existence of that situation and the effect it leaves on my daily life causes me to feel the stress. So, what do I do when I’m going through a difficult time? The answer. Go through it. Yes, going through something means that there is a point in time where I will walk out of that problem and hopefully come out stronger and wiser than I was when the problem first darkened my door.
You see, the last two months I have been walking around with a nauseous stomach and pretty much feeling very ill. I’ve pasted on a smile for my family and my co-workers and when they’d ask me how I was doing, I’d respond with a bubbly, “I’m blessed! How are you?” The question was, did I really believe that I was blessed? Apparently not. My faith and trust was under fire and I was allowing emotions of fear, depression, low self worth and even an evil foreboding of doom to enter my thoughts and manifest in my daily life. Examples: I’d get up out of bed three or four times throughout the night to check the lock on my front door. I’d freak out over any twinge of pain and immediately think the worst possible scenario, like having some incurable disease… and the list goes on.
One Sunday morning when I was visiting my parents, my father said to me, “I believe that the reason you haven’t been feeling well these last couple months is because you’re anxious. You need to learn that if you can’t change it, then you need to trust God to get you through it and just be peaceful.” Wow! I just sat there and looked at my wise, 79 year young dad and was amazed how profound his words were and how deeply they penetrated my spirit. He was so right. His words were simple; not at all mind blowing, but in my case, they were life changing.
The constant nausea, the worries of having ulcers and other physical ailments, the fear, depression, evil forebodings; they all stemmed from the fact that I took my eyes off of God’s hand and instead put my eyes on my situation. Yes, I’ve been going through some tough times in my life, a lot of it worrying about the people I love, but that Sunday morning, sitting in my parent’s living room, I needed to be reminded of whose hand I was holding while going through these hard times…Jesus!
It’s been about two weeks since those encouraging words from my dad and today we are in a new year…2015. I have since learned to sincerely cast my cares on the Lord and rest in His Promise to never leave me or forsake me. Yes, it would be easy for Him to remove the problems I’m going through. But how will I grow into a stronger more courages woman? How will I realize and even call upon inner strengths, gifts and talents deep within me if I never go through something? The most important question to me is, “How will I ever realize how much I need Him and how much He truly loves me if I never ever need to hold onto His hand?
There will always be problems my friends. I shared my story here and how I needed to be reminded of my faith in Jesus. I don’t know what you’re going through right now or if you have a belief in God. I do believe that we all need to believe in a power greater than ourselves, just to even have hope. I mean, could you imagine the hopeless feeling of thinking that we are our only savior? So, as I close this article, I pray that it will encourage and truly bless every reader. Whatever the burden, I believe in someone who can carry the weight of that burden and I pray that you consider taking hold of His hand. Please don’t allow your problems to continue to make you ill! Stress is said to be a silent killer. I wasn’t aware of the stress that I was under until I was forced to look at the physical toll it was taking on my body. If you can’t change something (and please know that you CANNOT change another person), give it to God and find some peace and some joy in your life. My joy these days has been sitting at my easel and painting. What are your hobbies? Find an escape that’s healthy and beneficial to YOU. The subtitle of my N.M.V. blog page says, “There’s only one YOU.” and that statement is so, so true! You matter. You’re a Designer’s original. Always find ways to be good to yourself spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It’s not being selfish. Selfish would be just giving up and falling into habits that could destroy you and even the people around you who do love you. It is about rising above life’s circumstances and living a victorious life that you were created to live! So, choose wisely who and what you allow into your life. You will make it through!
Sincerely,
Yoli Fae (N.M.V.)

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NO MORE VANITY

Now, No More Vanity can become a conversation starter when you wear it proudly. Let people know that you are a Designer’s Original and PROUD OF IT:) SHOP N.M.V. at http://www.cafepress.com/nomorevanity

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ImageMy younger sister and I each have pet peeves that drive one another bonkers. We don’t always agree and sometimes can go a couple days with out talking to each other when life gets demanding. But the one person I know I can always share my heart with without being judged is my sister. She honestly is my Best Friend! When she hurts, I hurt. When she calls me with good news, I’m always excited for her. My sister and I have both struggled with our weight most of our lives. But with age comes wisdom, and after years of crazy crash diets, harmful pills like Phen Phen and poor self esteem, we both have reached a point in our 40’s where we LOVE who  we are and how we look. We’ve discovered that our health is paramount to our happiness! So, we keep each other accountable with healthy eating habits and exercise, and yes, we still enjoy our yummy foods like ice cream and chocolates, just in moderation. Today, we had our sister time at Mimi’s Cafe and enjoyed THE BEST onion soup and crab cakes…YUMMMMM!!!

I encourage anyone reading this, who is struggling with liking who you see when you look in the mirror to seek out someone you can truly trust to be your accountability partner. Talk to them about how you’re feeling and choose a small goal you both can achieve together…something that will make you feel good about yourself. Join a 5K, try to kick an unhealthy habit like smoking, commit to walking every evening, etc. The key is to get you out of that ‘victim’ mentality and to give yourself a small attainable goal you can reach with the support of a friend. I am so glad I have my sister:) Remember, it’s not about being skinny, but being healthy! So, who will be your accountability partner? I want to know because I’d love to also cheer you on! Keep me posted:)

Hugs, Yoli

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ImageOne of our biggest downfalls is an unhealthy comparison to other people. We want to be like them, look like them, and achieve what they have achieved. Now, don’t misunderstand. There’s nothing wrong with healthy ambition as long as that ambition is to be your BEST YOU! It’s also important to have mentors in our lives who encourage us to bring out our talents and to face our fears head on.

You will never be 6 feet tall, so stop hating your five foot frame and go buy some slamm’in heels and call it a day. You CAN however, be an awesome teacher, artist, mother or entrepreneur. Oh, here’s one…You will never be a size 4 if you weren’t born with the body frame to support a size 4. You CAN, once again, choose clothes that fit and flatter your body and choose to be healthy through good nutrition and physical activity. Bottom line is you need to decide today that you are going to be happy in your own skin. Trust me, I’m preach’in to the choir because I have to tell myself this every day.

Building self esteem requires daily doses of TLC. TREAT yourself right by removing the negativity from your life (people who tear you down, destructive habits that endanger your health). LOVE yourself the way you are right now. If there’s something you desire to change that will add to the quality of your life and that you CAN change, then go for it. If you need that mentor to remind you that you CAN make this change then give her/him a call! Lastly, CHOOSE to be happy. I know this sounds cliche but it’s vital. Despite the moods of other people and despite bad situations, we still get to choose how to react. Just say, “This may not be what I expected or even what I want right now, but I am going to have a good attitude about it so that if there is anything that I can do to make the situation better, I will already be in the right frame of mind to make it happen. Either way, I am going to enjoy this day.”

There’s a healthy comparison to others where we are working on bringing out the best in ourselves. There’s also an unhealthy comparison where we’d rather be someone else, and that will simply never happen my friend. So, start giving yourself some TLC and see how much you start to like who you see in the mirror. Once again, I’m taking my own advice. Have a great day:)

Yoli

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dancing-in-the-rainThis Christmas season has been a very trying time for so many people in my circle of friends and family. From co-workers to facebookers, to relatives; the unhappiness of broken relationships, financial woes, sickness and even death have invaded their lives. Needless to say, most of whom I’ve tried to console just wanted the holidays to be over with. My brother, bless his heart, invited all of the family over Christmas day and told us to just bring ourselves. Gifts were not important. He said the best gift we could give each other this Christmas was our presence at the dinner table. He was so right! Even with the looming sadness and uncertainty of tomorrow, we gathered together under one roof and exchanged hugs, smiles, tears and support…the food, by the way was SPECTACULAR! We are all praying for a better 2013, and I believe that with continued love and support of family and friends, we will all be alright. I heard a wonderful quote years ago that read, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” I don’t know who wrote this but I love it and have learned to LIVE IT. I hope and pray anyone reading this will be encouraged to dance…whether the sun is shining or the rain is falling. Life…your life IS still worth living!

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giftWow, I feel like I’ve been away for a year, well it’s been almost eight months anyway. Busy going to night school M-F and working a full time job during the day totally exhausted me both mentally and physically! But I’m back on track…yay:) So, I’d like to wish everyone who has followed NMV (No More Vanity) a very Merry Christmas and an even better New Year! Please, please, please don’t get caught up in the monetary pressure often put on people to spend themselves into debt in order to buy gifts. YOU are the best gift you could ever give your friends and family! Remember, there’s only one you. One extraordinary YOU!!!

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What is your healthy weight? It’s different for everyone. That’s right. Not everyone can be a healthy size six. You can starve yourself to get there, but you won’t be healthy and YOU WON’T STAY THERE. So, why torture yourself. It’s time to learn how to love the body type you were born with and more importantly, treat it right to increase your precious time on this earth.

Your healthy weight depends on several factors, including your height, age, and how much body fat and muscle you have. To calculate your healthy weight, talk to your doctor. I know. I can hear many of you now saying, “Uhhh…co-pay. Do I really want to spend $$ to ask my doctor to calculate my weight?” Well, let me ask you this. How much $$ have you spent so far on the numerous weight loss diets out there? You could actually get a formula off of the internet to calculate your healthy weight as well, but I personally lean strongly towards paying the $10+ co-pay to see my doctor to not only find out what my healthy weight is but to see where I am health wise. So, you choose.

There are two measures that your doctor may use to figure your healthy weight. One is your BMI (body mass index), and the other is your waist circumference. Again, if you have your doctor perform this, he/she can tell you what health risks you are currently dealing with based on your calculations and how to BEST eliminate those risks. In my family, our health risks include diabetes, hereditary high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. YIKES! That’s a BAD cocktail! Nonetheless, I found a way to dodge those bullets through exercise and good nutrition. I have actually lowered my total cholesterol within this last year to the point where I’m no longer at risk of heart disease and diabetes, and it all started with making better food choices, exercise and LETTING GO of the things and people in my life who stressed me.

So here’s the simple science that helped me attain my healthy weight of size 12…yes I am a happy, healthy, curvy,  size 12. I actually got to a size 10 once on a VERY RESTRICTIVE diet and after seeing my doctor and having a urine test, she told me my kidneys were barely functioning! Needless to say I ballooned to a size 16, cholesterol went through the roof, borderline diabetic, and I felt like I was dying at the tender age of 31. Scary hugh? Ok, back to the science. Like I always say, “Eat something!” Don’t skip meals and make sure to have five important food groups at breakfast, lunch and dinner. These groups are fruits, vegetables, lean protein, grain, and dairy. I know it can seem hard to get all of these food groups into all three meals, especially with the fast paced lives so many of us live. I understand. I am a student, I work a full time job and I have a home based business of helping people get physically and financially fit, which I LOVE and which will one day replace my full time job. So yes, I’m busy. Nonetheless, a little planning, shopping, and meal preparation during your weekend may just surprise you during your busy work week. Not only will you be making smarter food choices, but you will also ease up on your wallet. Those drive-thru’s can get expensive!

Reaching a healthy weight is about accepting your body type and doing right by your body through achieving optimal health and performance. STOP comparing yourself to others! It almost killed me! Remember, there’s only ONE you, and when you learn to love the person you are, you will stand out in the best possible way and hopefully even help someone else who is struggling with their own self image.

Coach Yoli Fae,

God Bless and Live Fearlessly

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