Posts Tagged ‘depression’

1511354_10203438330831015_5899297131824040142_nIt is pointless for me to worry and stress over a situation that I cannot change. Still, the very existence of that situation and the effect it leaves on my daily life causes me to feel the stress. So, what do I do when I’m going through a difficult time? The answer. Go through it. Yes, going through something means that there is a point in time where I will walk out of that problem and hopefully come out stronger and wiser than I was when the problem first darkened my door.
You see, the last two months I have been walking around with a nauseous stomach and pretty much feeling very ill. I’ve pasted on a smile for my family and my co-workers and when they’d ask me how I was doing, I’d respond with a bubbly, “I’m blessed! How are you?” The question was, did I really believe that I was blessed? Apparently not. My faith and trust was under fire and I was allowing emotions of fear, depression, low self worth and even an evil foreboding of doom to enter my thoughts and manifest in my daily life. Examples: I’d get up out of bed three or four times throughout the night to check the lock on my front door. I’d freak out over any twinge of pain and immediately think the worst possible scenario, like having some incurable disease… and the list goes on.
One Sunday morning when I was visiting my parents, my father said to me, “I believe that the reason you haven’t been feeling well these last couple months is because you’re anxious. You need to learn that if you can’t change it, then you need to trust God to get you through it and just be peaceful.” Wow! I just sat there and looked at my wise, 79 year young dad and was amazed how profound his words were and how deeply they penetrated my spirit. He was so right. His words were simple; not at all mind blowing, but in my case, they were life changing.
The constant nausea, the worries of having ulcers and other physical ailments, the fear, depression, evil forebodings; they all stemmed from the fact that I took my eyes off of God’s hand and instead put my eyes on my situation. Yes, I’ve been going through some tough times in my life, a lot of it worrying about the people I love, but that Sunday morning, sitting in my parent’s living room, I needed to be reminded of whose hand I was holding while going through these hard times…Jesus!
It’s been about two weeks since those encouraging words from my dad and today we are in a new year…2015. I have since learned to sincerely cast my cares on the Lord and rest in His Promise to never leave me or forsake me. Yes, it would be easy for Him to remove the problems I’m going through. But how will I grow into a stronger more courages woman? How will I realize and even call upon inner strengths, gifts and talents deep within me if I never go through something? The most important question to me is, “How will I ever realize how much I need Him and how much He truly loves me if I never ever need to hold onto His hand?
There will always be problems my friends. I shared my story here and how I needed to be reminded of my faith in Jesus. I don’t know what you’re going through right now or if you have a belief in God. I do believe that we all need to believe in a power greater than ourselves, just to even have hope. I mean, could you imagine the hopeless feeling of thinking that we are our only savior? So, as I close this article, I pray that it will encourage and truly bless every reader. Whatever the burden, I believe in someone who can carry the weight of that burden and I pray that you consider taking hold of His hand. Please don’t allow your problems to continue to make you ill! Stress is said to be a silent killer. I wasn’t aware of the stress that I was under until I was forced to look at the physical toll it was taking on my body. If you can’t change something (and please know that you CANNOT change another person), give it to God and find some peace and some joy in your life. My joy these days has been sitting at my easel and painting. What are your hobbies? Find an escape that’s healthy and beneficial to YOU. The subtitle of my N.M.V. blog page says, “There’s only one YOU.” and that statement is so, so true! You matter. You’re a Designer’s original. Always find ways to be good to yourself spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It’s not being selfish. Selfish would be just giving up and falling into habits that could destroy you and even the people around you who do love you. It is about rising above life’s circumstances and living a victorious life that you were created to live! So, choose wisely who and what you allow into your life. You will make it through!
Yoli Fae (N.M.V.)

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New MeditatingThis has been a rough year! I had major surgery in May, my sister moved in with me in June, and recently my dad got really sick and ended up in the E.R. with what we were told was a stroke. Turns out it wasn’t a stroke but some bizarre infection.
As the oldest daughter (middle child), I have always been the ‘Fixer.’ Some might even refer to me as a co-dependent. Regardless of the label, somewhere along the line I lost ME. My hopes and dreams seem to mean very little to me lately. Not that I don’t still want them! It’s just that they seem so far away; almost unreachable.
I love my family but I have to come to the realization that I can’t be their savior. I can’t ref every argument, protect everyone’s feelings, and keep the people I love from being hurt. I can however have a say in guarding my own heart. It’s not selfish to think of me. If anything, it’s crucial to the survival of a fading reflection I see every time I look in the mirror.
So, how do I rekindle the fire within me and start chasing after my dreams again? I truly believe that I have to trust in one greater than all of us…yes God…and put those I love in His hands through prayer. I thank God that my dad is healed and I will always be there to help my parents. Still, I am in His hands as well and if I can’t even save myself, what makes me think that I can save anyone else! Time to dust off my dreams and make them come true. Time to find ME again:)

Yoli Fae

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baseball_jersey1 mnv_baseball_jersey flip_flops


Now, No More Vanity can become a conversation starter when you wear it proudly. Let people know that you are a Designer’s Original and PROUD OF IT:) SHOP N.M.V. at http://www.cafepress.com/nomorevanity

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ImageMy younger sister and I each have pet peeves that drive one another bonkers. We don’t always agree and sometimes can go a couple days with out talking to each other when life gets demanding. But the one person I know I can always share my heart with without being judged is my sister. She honestly is my Best Friend! When she hurts, I hurt. When she calls me with good news, I’m always excited for her. My sister and I have both struggled with our weight most of our lives. But with age comes wisdom, and after years of crazy crash diets, harmful pills like Phen Phen and poor self esteem, we both have reached a point in our 40’s where we LOVE who  we are and how we look. We’ve discovered that our health is paramount to our happiness! So, we keep each other accountable with healthy eating habits and exercise, and yes, we still enjoy our yummy foods like ice cream and chocolates, just in moderation. Today, we had our sister time at Mimi’s Cafe and enjoyed THE BEST onion soup and crab cakes…YUMMMMM!!!

I encourage anyone reading this, who is struggling with liking who you see when you look in the mirror to seek out someone you can truly trust to be your accountability partner. Talk to them about how you’re feeling and choose a small goal you both can achieve together…something that will make you feel good about yourself. Join a 5K, try to kick an unhealthy habit like smoking, commit to walking every evening, etc. The key is to get you out of that ‘victim’ mentality and to give yourself a small attainable goal you can reach with the support of a friend. I am so glad I have my sister:) Remember, it’s not about being skinny, but being healthy! So, who will be your accountability partner? I want to know because I’d love to also cheer you on! Keep me posted:)

Hugs, Yoli

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ImageI am so excited about the Color Run in July. It’s so wonderful how this organization encourages health and wellness in every city they visit! This will be my first 5k and my friends (Fearless Chix is our group name) and I plan on taking tons of pictures. In preparation for my first 5k I’m walking/running a mile and will slowly work up to three miles. I’m glad this run isn’t timed because I may be doing a lot of walking…lol. Still it will be a blast! As far as nutrition, I’m sticking to fresh fruits, veggies, lean proteins and my favorite bread; 7 Sprouted Grain bread because it’s high in protein. As far as the junk food, well bye bye cookies and chips! Like I always say, “It’s not about being skinny. It’s about being healthy…AND HAPPY:)


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ImageI’ve done cleanses in the past when I felt like my body was sluggish and run down. I believe being healthy is paramount! Nothing else really matters if you’re unhealthy. When my body and all of it’s organs are functioning properly and my body’s natural defense mechanisms are working at 100%, I also function better. That’s so important to me because right now I work a full time job, I’m building an online health and fitness business, and I am going to school at night. So, I need my brain to be operating at it’s VERY BEST and my body as a whole to know how to defend itself against stress. I’m doing this 21 day cleanse starting in June and I am actually excited about being good to my body. I mean, I already take good care of my body…”Gotta practice what I preach!” Still, I love the feeling of  possibly adding more healthy years to my life by giving my body more of what it needs. In reviewing this cleanse, one thing I loved off the bat is that I eat! You better believe it! If you have read ANY of my other blogs, you know I BELIEVE IN EATING…lol! Eating brings me joy and peace and comfort because I’ve learned how to respect food as well as my body and its correlation to food. Food is a good thing friends. It’s not meant to be an abusive tool towards your body! It’s meant to nourish, sustain, and improve the performance of your body. I eat healthy and I exercise. It’s that simple. So, I will keep you all posted and if anyone would like to join me, I think this would be a fun journey to take together. To learn more about this cleanse go to http://myultimatereset.com/esuite/home/yolifae

Love and Hugs,

Coach Yoli Fae

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What is your healthy weight? It’s different for everyone. That’s right. Not everyone can be a healthy size six. You can starve yourself to get there, but you won’t be healthy and YOU WON’T STAY THERE. So, why torture yourself. It’s time to learn how to love the body type you were born with and more importantly, treat it right to increase your precious time on this earth.

Your healthy weight depends on several factors, including your height, age, and how much body fat and muscle you have. To calculate your healthy weight, talk to your doctor. I know. I can hear many of you now saying, “Uhhh…co-pay. Do I really want to spend $$ to ask my doctor to calculate my weight?” Well, let me ask you this. How much $$ have you spent so far on the numerous weight loss diets out there? You could actually get a formula off of the internet to calculate your healthy weight as well, but I personally lean strongly towards paying the $10+ co-pay to see my doctor to not only find out what my healthy weight is but to see where I am health wise. So, you choose.

There are two measures that your doctor may use to figure your healthy weight. One is your BMI (body mass index), and the other is your waist circumference. Again, if you have your doctor perform this, he/she can tell you what health risks you are currently dealing with based on your calculations and how to BEST eliminate those risks. In my family, our health risks include diabetes, hereditary high cholesterol, and high blood pressure. YIKES! That’s a BAD cocktail! Nonetheless, I found a way to dodge those bullets through exercise and good nutrition. I have actually lowered my total cholesterol within this last year to the point where I’m no longer at risk of heart disease and diabetes, and it all started with making better food choices, exercise and LETTING GO of the things and people in my life who stressed me.

So here’s the simple science that helped me attain my healthy weight of size 12…yes I am a happy, healthy, curvy,  size 12. I actually got to a size 10 once on a VERY RESTRICTIVE diet and after seeing my doctor and having a urine test, she told me my kidneys were barely functioning! Needless to say I ballooned to a size 16, cholesterol went through the roof, borderline diabetic, and I felt like I was dying at the tender age of 31. Scary hugh? Ok, back to the science. Like I always say, “Eat something!” Don’t skip meals and make sure to have five important food groups at breakfast, lunch and dinner. These groups are fruits, vegetables, lean protein, grain, and dairy. I know it can seem hard to get all of these food groups into all three meals, especially with the fast paced lives so many of us live. I understand. I am a student, I work a full time job and I have a home based business of helping people get physically and financially fit, which I LOVE and which will one day replace my full time job. So yes, I’m busy. Nonetheless, a little planning, shopping, and meal preparation during your weekend may just surprise you during your busy work week. Not only will you be making smarter food choices, but you will also ease up on your wallet. Those drive-thru’s can get expensive!

Reaching a healthy weight is about accepting your body type and doing right by your body through achieving optimal health and performance. STOP comparing yourself to others! It almost killed me! Remember, there’s only ONE you, and when you learn to love the person you are, you will stand out in the best possible way and hopefully even help someone else who is struggling with their own self image.

Coach Yoli Fae,

God Bless and Live Fearlessly

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